Friday, December 31, 2010

New Year's Resolutions

Change is a good thing. I believe that one small gesture can inspire a world of change. I also believe that people shouldn't just vow to change on one day. I think this is a continuing effort and should be done at all times, not just once a year.

I want to be a better wife, I want to be a better student, and I want to be a better mother. I want to lose weight, I want to save money, and I want to help change the world into a more accepting place for people with special needs. Its a lot of change that I want, and sometimes I don't know how I'm going to do it.

Change starts within. If I want to be a better wife, I've got to work at my marriage. Being a better wife starts with a positive environment to come home too. Maybe I had a crappy day with things blowing up left and right, but maybe he did too. We've got to work together to make things work and communicate when they don't. Lack of communication is the fault of everyone and we both have to strive to better it for each other.

To be a better student I have to put the hours into studying. I was not that great about it this semester. I used excuses and didn't make the commitment that I should have. If I want to be a better student, I need to set goals to only study and try to not let anything get in the way.

To be a better mother, I need to put some of my kids needs before my own. I do believe that you have to take care of yourself to be a better mother. Your kids will not survive long with a mom who doesn't take care of herself. I'm aiming for some personal time away so that I can be refreshed and ready to tackle the needs of all of my children.

To lose weight, I need to put forth more effort into actually losing weight. I need to exercise more and try to find a better way of eating. I'm looking into various diet plans that my whole family can do, because I don't want to cook seperate meals. I want to eat healthier and I want to feel better about myself. That must come from me, but if anyone has any better eating plans please feel free to shoot them my way.

To save money, I've got to start taking a better look at my finances and cut the fat. I am thinking about looking into Dave Ramsey's program to see if that would help us. I want to be able to save for things in the future.

To change the world, well when you all figure that out let me know. I just want things to be better with all and I especially want things to be more accepting with people with special needs more than anything. Please be more accepting of people with disabilities. Don't look at kids who are being 'brats' as being bratty, they could be having a meltdown. Having a child with special needs is a gift and I wish the whole world would understand just how special he is. Until that day comes, I will continue to advocate for him the best I can.

Don't resolve to change today, don't resolve to change tomorrow. Be the change you want NOW!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Things happen so fast!!!!

The last five months have been a blur. I have not been a dedicated blogger like I wanted to be, but life got in the way. For the most part, things have been fairly settled and quiet. We've been dealing with some of Caleb's medical issues, but we're getting through them. My biggest issue right now is dealing with my emotions and deployment.

As most of you know, I'm not much of a crier. I didn't cry when my kids were born and I didn't cry when my husband left. And you know what, that's how I deal. I deal with my emotions by laughing at things instead of sobbing my eyes out. I have no problem with people who cry either, because that is how they choose to express their emotions. I want to cry, some days, but I do it in private. To me crying is very personal and I don't like people seeing that side of me. So to all the criers out there, keep on crying, because its all good, I'm just not going to do it.

Things with Caleb have been very emotional lately. Some of the newer things we've started are physical therapy and appointments with neurology. In Ocotober, Caleb had a partial complex seizure. When we visited a neurologist in Denver, she asked us to get a sleep-deprived EEG an a sedation MRI. I was ok with that, because i want to know what's going on with his brain. We did the sleep-deprived EEG yesterday at Children's Mercy Hospital, because it is the best place, in my opinion, that takes care of kids with special needs. I was a nervous wreck while we were doing the EEG, but Caleb was a pro. He followed directions and the EEG technician couln't believe that he was a kid. He kept saying how good he was. We'll know the results by tomorrow afternoon or Friday morning. Fingers are crossed for a good review.

Christian started preschool this year and he's doing so AWESOME!!! He loves his teacher and talks about his new friends all the time. He recently performed in a school musical where he sang 5 Christmas songs. In Christian fashion, he sang 2 and then sat down in protest while doing the rest. Such a drama child!

Cole has changed the most. He's gone from a black-haired baby to a blonde. He's crawling and walking on the furniture and sprouted 8 teeth so far. He's growing like a week. He's changing so fast that I'm glad I carry my phone with me at all times to capture the moments of him on video and picture. He's such a onery baby.

I started my 2nd year in graduate school for my special education master's degree. I'm finding the classes challenging and interesting at the same time. I find that some of my professors think they know everything and others who are very welcome to new ideas and suggestions.

My biggest regret this year is not being able to resolve some conflicts that I have with some people. I've come to a conclusion that no matter what I do I will never be able to please her and I'm not going to try and please her anymore. I'm not living my life to please other people. My life is about my kids and my husband. My family is important to me, but the fore-mentioned people have priority.

I'm going to try and write more, but as you know, sometimes life gets in the way.

Thursday, July 15, 2010


I've started this blog to help me manage my emotions positively while I'm enduring life's challenges. A little about me: I'm an army wife, who's about to go through a 3rd deployment, a student (Master's program in Special Education at UCCS), and a mother. I have 3 little boys who are the light of my life: Caleb who is 9, Christian who is 3, and Cole who is 6 months. I love my boys to death! They bring me both happiness and challenges. Caleb, my oldest, has PDD NOS, a form of Autism, brings daily struggles to both his and our lives. He's truly a blessing for me as he's given me something to fight for. And that fight is being his education, rights, and his well-being. Others have been fairly critical of his upbringing, but we believe he's growing to be a strong and well-rounded individual. Christian is my little man! He is so responsible for a 3 year old and is constantly trying to help me do things around the house. He has truly been an interesting child to see grow. I expect him to be a great man some day, along with his other brothers. Cole is one onery baby! He was born with jet black hair, that has fallen out and is growing back blonde...go figure! LOL All my boys are blonde! My husband is a great man serving in the United States Army and I have never felt more proud of him for being a great man and a great husband. He's also a great dad!
My emotions have been getting the best of me as challenges from people have been bringing me to determine what I really want in life. I love my kids, I love my husband and I love my life! I only hope to make a difference in people's lives for the better!