Friday, June 17, 2011

Deployment is ending. So what have I learned on this journey?

My husband is coming home.  It's only a matter of weeks or days now.  I am very excited, but it's also given me some time to think about the last year.  This year has been hard, really really hard.  In fact, there were days when I wanted to throw up a white flag and surrender.  But you can't do that.  You have to go on.  As an Army wife, we have to stay strong for the soldiers overseas, our families, and ourselves.

But it's not always easy. 

There are those days where I wanted to sleep in, where my husband would take over, get the kids ready for school and say, just hang out in bed.  Yeah right...that didn't happen for a year!  And I'm ok with it.  You sleep when you can.

Then there are those nights when you have to mentally tell yourself to stop thinking about all the bad things that could be happening.  What happens happens.  You have no control.  I stopped watching the news.  Except when the government threatened to shutdown.  I should have never watched that.  It just made me crazy.

There are also the nights when you feel so alone.  You want to curl up to your husband and tell him how much you love him.  There's no one there but an extra pillow and you and your thoughts.  Those thoughts compile on top of each other until you're just bursting into tears.  Sure, I'm not a touchy feely person.  But there are nights when I just need a hug or want to be held by my husband.  When you have to miss out on that for an entire year, it takes its toll.  It sucks. 

But you know what I learned?  I learned that I can take just about anything.  I had a good support system, thanks to my two closest friends, Linda and Sueanne, who helped me the most throughout this!  They always listened whenever I needed to talk.  My family was pretty helpful as well.  I don't always get along with them, but we do ok. 

Then there's all the craziness that I had to endure.  From my health, to my kids constantly getting sick or going to the emergency room, or dealing with my son's possible loss of hearing.  I have managed to deal with it all.  This deployment has made me a stronger person. 

I am very glad it is over and cannot wait to have my reunion with my husband!!!  We're counting down the days!!!

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