Why I hate the 'R' Word.

I am pretty open minded. I don't mind talking about random subjects. I will even spar on the very uncomfortable topics, such as abortion, religion and politics. But one thing I am a bit sensitive too...it's the use of the 'R' word. I don't like it. Nope, not one bit. I know it's a medical diagnosis. And I know it's used in certain diagnosis'. Heck, my son had a diagnosis of mental retardation before he was diagnosed with Autism.


So why don't I like it? Story time. Yes, I am ashamed. I've used it. More than I should. I've used it in reference to people and other things that I really shouldn't have ever done. But I know better now. I have respect and I would rather use terms responsibly.

Another thing I understand and would like to address. By making the use of a word bad or something that people get upset about gives it power....yeah I get that. But I also understand there's a certain responsibility we have as humans.We should treat people respectfully. I'm not going to throw out certain words, because I believe they are disrespectful. Maybe that is giving the word power, but I disagree. I would rather respect my fellow mankind than disrespect them.

So what really made me hate the 'R' word? Well that's a story of epic proportions. My son was 3 at the time and I wanted to have him in a church environment. We put him in a church preschool, after telling the director/teacher all about Caleb's problems. (He hadn't been diagnosed with anything at the time) She was so nice, told us that she would help him in every way possible. I was so relieved. I wanted some exposure to a church environment and thought this was the place. I couldn't have been more wrong. I came to pick him up from school one day. The teacher/director was standing outside the classroom chatting with another person. I thought it was a bit strange to leave 10-12 preschoolers alone in a classroom, especially my son who has some issues with scissors and such. He had been known to cut things that he wasn't supposed to. I went into the classroom and started to get Caleb's stuff and she came in there like a hurricane.

I stood there and listened to her as she proceeded to tell me about my son's day. Caleb had an accident and had been left in the bathroom all by himself. She told me that he had taken his feces and wiped them all over the wall. Internally I giggled. I mean, who leaves a kid alone in the bathroom like that? Then came the worst of it. She told me that my son, the light of my life...was a retard....was the stupidest child she had ever had in her class. Yes, I am not kidding. I think my mouth dropped. I don't really remember what happened next. I didn't say anything. I saw red. You don't call my son that. You just don't. I don't care who you are. I don't care if you're angry. You don't call a child names, especially one who has an obvious disability. I left and found out later, that she had left my son covered in feces which resulted in him breaking out in a rash. Yep...pissed off mom. I called and asked for my son to be removed from the program after that. I was done.

So, that is why I don't like the use of the 'R' word. I won't yell at you. I will educate you and probably ask you to not use it around me. It's just not a word I like...and I will probably get kind of angry if it's used inappropriately.

Debate Fest Denver 2012: Spreading Autism Awareness

So yesterday I got to do something pretty darn fantastic. I went to Debate Fest in Denver, Colorado at the University of Denver. I was, quite frankly, a bundle of nervous energy. I was terrified. People from all over the world were there. Press, Secret Service, Politicians, crazy protesters, etc...it was CRAZY!!!! But I wasn't there to talk politics. I was there to raise awareness. Our goal was to get at least one candidate to mention Autism. We really need Autism to be on the agenda, because we need our voices heard. We deserve a voice and I was determined to have that voice heard.

I arrived in Denver around 11. We weren't allowed inside the Debate Fest area until 2. So...we sat at Starbucks for 3 hours. That was interesting. The people who went in and out were a mix of press and people all over the world. The team I was with would go up to the press and ask them to stop by our booth/tent and learn more about Autism Votes and etc. I'm a bit shy with the press. Then the Secret Service popped in. That was funny. One of the girls from the group ran up to them and asked if they were. They answered in the affirmative. I laughed. They were giving it away with their little ear wires sticking out. We wanted to take their picture, but...they thought we would post it on YouTube. Apparently YouTube is where you post pictures now...haha

Another amazing person we met was an illustrator from the NY Times. She saw my shirt and asked about Autism Votes. I proceeded to talk to her about it and then asked her about hers. She was from Artists Votes. She told me about her cause and why it was important. She then proceeded to tell me about what she did and what she was doing professionally. It was so cool! Meeting an artist of her stamina. I felt so honored!

So around 2, we all walked back to where our site was, wearing our awesome little amusement park credentials. Yes, our credentials were wristbands that you get at either a bar or an amusement park...it was hilarious. I giggled. I looked around and saw all the other booths and tents. There were many different views, many I don't agree with, but yeah...I'm not going to write about that today. Ha.


The table was fixed and ready to go, when I noticed the sign was backwards. I asked if I could fix it. The ladies grabbed a few zip ties and I jumped on a chair to start hanging the sign back up. As I was getting down from fixing the sign, Fox news comes over and asks me to get back on the chair so they can get me in the camera hanging the sign. So...my butt made the news. Awesome haha. I laughed so hard.

The next thing I got to do was a radio show...I've done one before, but not in public. HOLY COW I was a nervous wreck. There was a lot on the line for me to get everything right. I had a lot of information to get out in about 90 seconds to 2 minutes. I literally had no time. I was shaking in fear. I don't like public speaking at all. They handed me the microphone and I kept lowering it down to my knees. I wasn't sure I could do it. But then I remembered. This wasn't about me. This was about helping get more awareness. I wanted to help others. I needed to suck it up and just do it. Sure...I was near tears and shaking badly, but I got everything out. I said what I needed to say. It went quite well. I felt that I was able to get what I needed out and speak on behalf of my cause.

Debate Fest opened at 3 and went til 6. In that span of time, hundreds of people swarmed in. They came over to our booth and our team increased their awareness of what Autism Votes was about.  Now you may be wondering what Autism Votes is. What we want is a reform on insurance. Right now it doesn't cover all therapies for kids with Autism. And that's not right. We want Autism on the agenda of every politician. We want it addressed and we will continue to show up at every debate, every door, and I will be there with them as long as I'm able. I don't just want this for children but for adults. Children are covered but what happens to the adults. We aren't talking about that and that scares me for the future of our kids. I have a son to think about and so do many others.


Towards the end, I started getting, well in my words, pimped out the the media. LOL I went to all the major news stations, standing in front of their cameras so they could see the Autism Votes tee shirts. MTV panned a shot of our booth and happened to get me. I gave them a cheesy thumbs up. The cameraman laughed. Hey I got my 5 seconds on MTV! Bwhaha

I drove home and contemplated a lot. Why do I do this? Why do I drive out of my way, spending hours away from my kids, talking to people I don't know, publicly speaking when I am terrified, and all for free......I'll you why, because if I don't, who will? I have a voice and it must be heard. I want people to know why this is important and why you need to know that Autism isn't just going to disappear. We are going to continue to be out there. You can listen and I hope you will take something away from it. Because that's all I want. This is so important to me.

Winter Vacation: Torture or Bliss...

Ah the time of year when parents either dread or are so excited to get their children back for two to three weeks, dependent on the school.  I, personally, cannot stand winter break.  And here's why: my son is a routine-based kid.  Well heck, so am I.  I like my routines, I create routines for this family and we thrive off of them.  And then here comes winter break to mess it all up.  What does winter break bring?  Meltdown city!!!

 Usually we try and take a trip back home to see family and that also results in more chaos.  Don't get me wrong, I love seeing my family and my husband does too.  But the poor kids are so off schedule and moody by the time we head back that we're all a bunch of crab sandwiches by the time we make it back home.

Also back home is our developmental pediatrician and our psychologist.  I usually am very apprehensive about those visits, because they can mean a few things.  1.  Your kid is regressing and needs major medication changes.  2.  He's doing great.  This trip was a #2.  AHA...lol ok.  Forgive me, I'm about to start potty training child number 3, so my mind is full of potty slang right now.  Caleb is doing great.  He only needed a minor adjustment with his medication and his growth is off the chart.  He's already over 5'0...gasp... Dear GOD, save me from puberty...how tall is this kid going to be???  I mean really??  I don't want to look up to him quite yet.

Winter vacation is almost over and I'm ready to get back into our routines.  The kids back in school, dad back to work, and me slaving over schoolwork.  Yep I'm a creature of habit. :)

The Importance of Inclusion: Why I am so obsessed and will fight to the death for it.

Inclusion.  The hip word of the 90's.  It was a joyous discovery by educators on how we can include our children in the educational realm, including the ones who are 'different.' 

Where are we now?  Inclusion is a slippery battleground that educators that are in a constant fight for.  You are either for inclusion or you are not.  Inclusion is not easy at times and sometimes it is.

So, what is inclusion?  

Inclusive education, according to its most basic definition, means that
students with disabilities are supported in chronologically age-appropriate
general education classes in their home schools and receive the specialized
instruction delineated by their individualized education programs (IEP's)
within the context of the core curriculum and general class activities.

Inclusion is an effort to make sure students with disabilities go to school
along with their friends and neighbors while also receiving whatever,
“specially designed instruction and support” they need to achieve high
standards and succeed as learners.
(http://www.cpeip.fsu.edu/resourceFiles/resourceFile_18.pdf)

Inclusion is very important for social skills.  It helps students with special needs learn how to interact with students who are typically developing.  But stop and consider this.  Did you ever thing that inclusion is important for you typically developing child?  It is SO important for your sons and daughters to be around students with different abilities.  The real world is full of people who are full of different qualities, ones that aren't the same as others, and they are not 'segregated.'  They have different jobs and do different things, but they are all in this world together. 

All I ask of you is to think of this: We are all different.  We all have 'off ' days.  We all have days were we want to scream at people and some of us actually do that.  We're not all that different from the 'different' kids.  All those kids want is to have the same things we have.  They want friends, they want to go to the same classes, they want to grow up and get a job.  Just because they have a special need doesn't mean they deserve anything less.  They deserve an equal education, just like the rest of us.